In general, when someone hears a person who is white complain about "the way black people are," they are quick to place a "RACIST" label on that person and tune out the rest of the conversation. We decide to keep their distance and to avoid the subject because it makes us uncomfortable or hurt or angry. When we do this, we are operating under the same prejudice that we are condemning the "racist" for.

When we spent time on an organic olive farm in the Karoo, Christine and I spent a lot of time talking to the sons of the owners of the farm. They were 17 and 21 years of age and we were excited at the thought of hearing about life in South Africa from the perspective of a young person. When we asked them about the situation here in their country, they began to complain about crime, violence, and inequality like most of the other people we had already spoken with. The difference was that they blamed the problems in South Africa on the black community. I don't feel it is important to be specific here, but they talked a lot about "the way all black people are" and used some racist terms that I had encountered in out research to refer to blacks. My initial reaction was complete disgust. Everything I have ever been taught screams "racism is evil" and "racists are bad." Yet there was another part of me that was intrigued by their position. I was definately upset at first, but as the conversation went on, I began to realy listen to what they were saying. What they believe about black people was definately wrong, I cannot deny that, but they had some interesting things to say about things like unfair policies that really made some sense. South Africa would be a really difficult place to live and they are the product of a very tumultuous past 100 years. Part of their arguement was something that was right: they told me I could never understand South Africa because I don't live there and I wasn't born there and they were right, I can't understand it.

Those boys did and still would deny that they are racists, but by every definition I have ever known, they were speaking out of racism. However, they were not bad people. I looked them in the eye, and they were just like me. They are a product of their history, their social situation, their parents, and their friends.

Prejudice is a dangerous thing. I was not ready to give them a chance to be human. I was operating out of my own prejudice, but I know now that their perspective, whether I agree or not, deserves respect. That is an important part of the South African picture that we came here for. Favoring the black perspective is just as dangerous as only listening to the white opinions. I did not come to South Africa to only hear the perspective of the oppressed.

We must do that same as I encouraged them to. Do not label people. Think first about who they really are and more importantly, about why they do things and think about things the way they do. If you treat everyone first as a human being, you might find some understanding in your heart for someone you weren't prepared to give a chance to. You might even find an unlikely friend. =)